My Inconvenient Truth

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My Inconvenient Truth

I was 39 when I got my Driver’s License

I’ve been a last place finisher in several 5K, 10K and Half-Marathon walking events.

It’s taken me over 6 years to get within 40 lbs of my goal weight

I am a Baby Stepper and I’ve finally decided to own it

Years ago I was described as the newborn baby bird who slowly pecks, pecks, pecks to emerge from her shell. That description came from my mother and I proceeded to file that away along with all of the other evidence proving that “You just don’t get me”. Turns out she did. The real problem was that I didn’t get me.

So I spent the next few decades attempting to take giant leaps, massive action and setting big hairy audacious goals..and fell flat on my face…time after time. That’s not quite right, the falling usually came after the requisite two week goal attacking frenzy. Was I discouraged? Nooooo. Each fail made me even more determined to find the magic words, the best systems and the wisest motivational guru. Surely the right resources could fix me. It was revelatory to realize that I didn’t need to be fixed. I simply needed to acknowledge, accept and then design a life that worked with who I really was.

Funny thing, not accepting who I was made it easy for me to ignore or minimize those things I actually did accomplish at that slow, measured pace. Last place finisher in every race I’ve walked? Yeah..but at least I finished. Taking six years to get within 40 lbs of my goal weight? Yeah, but I’ve already lost over 230 lbs. I should have respected my accomplishments, but I had been seduced by society’s message that Bigger! Faster! Higher! More! is the goal and so I didn’t allow myself to appreciate them. No more…

Losing a massive amount of weight has opened up opportunities that I could have never imagined. As a middle-aged woman that both saddened me and excited me. The woman that carried 230 lbs of physical, emotional and spiritual baggage was gone. I needed to grieve the time I had lost and mourn the woman I had been, the identity that no longer fit. But I am excited about birthing a new me. One who is working toward her goals and dreams in a way that honors who she really is. I will keep on moving: baby steps, tiny steps, even halting steps. It doesn’t really matter what you call them, as long as forward momentum is maintained.

Is there a place for the slow pokes among us? Those of us who get where we want and need to be by riding the Baby Step Express? Hmmm..Baby Step Express…Oxymoron? So who are my peeps? Are you the person that’s taken 20 years to complete your degree? Have you stopped working out because you felt that exercising just 15 minutes a day is kinda lame? Are you trying to master a new language by learning one or two new words a day- but wonder what’s the point? I could go on and on -but you get the idea and we are kindred spirits.

My goal is to chronicle my “obstacle crushing, goal achieving” journey twice a week, Sundays and Wednesdays and my hope that you will find identification, acceptance and accountability as we go about crushing obstacles, achieving goals and relishing the journey- one baby step at a time.

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